beatz d nadtz

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Lonely through the night

Feeling so alone tonight
Looking 4 someone
Waiting for a call ring
But... nothing happend.....
Still by my self
Trying to get some sleep
To forget the loneliness

Last night, suddenly i've thought about him. A very good friend, unforgetable friend. He is so far far away from here, trying to have his own life. Building his own future. I'd try to call him, but hang up the phone after the second beep, coz I realized it was too late. It was 11.00 pm. And in such a place like where he is now.... it is time to go to bed, right!

But I'm glad he still a wake. so.. we just talking on the phone for about a 15 minutes. Not long, but it is enough. He said he will be back to Surabaya on February 2005, hoping that he can spend the whole week with his old friends... hopefully it can be true. Right now, he juz very busy with his bussiness.

Well well... I told him also about Fonny with her chickenpox. He start to laugh and asking Fonny's phone number, juz wanna teasing her... hehe... Oh... can the 3 of us be friends forever? I really miss those times.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Love of my life

Can't get you off from my mind
Just need you more then before
Is it the love that i've been waiting for ?
Or it just another sweet dream in my life ?

What is the love i've been waiting for? How can i know that it comes? Is there an answer for that? Guess i juz need to learn more about it.... just need to flow like a river, just need to be me and give the best of me for people around me....

My Mind Media Test Result

My Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 44%
Visual : 55%
Left : 68%
Right : 31%

Summary :
Stephanie, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.
Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."
With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Night of Fire

Remembering my childhood, remembering how i love fireworks! Remembering the old time, when i just a little kid, playing with my sis and bro. uhhhh really love those days...!So, this night, once again feeling like a little fairy, holding my magic wand, try to change the grass into a green magic carpet:p (unlogical thought yah!), jumping like a little rabbit, and enjoying it much much more than before.

Nyo saved the night i guess! no more sleepiness, just hoping the fire keep works! Thx Nyo n Vei too, coz she's the one who bought the firework i guess...:p ?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004


Fire - you are adventurous and easily provoked, you
like to explore the unknown, you are a good
leader, You like pizzas! you dont really mind
having to get up early for some things, you
have lots of energy, you are emotive but can be

How about You???

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Sweet or Bitter Holidayz..???

Suddenly think about my long vacations... at Idul Fitri n Xmas Day...
Some part of me can't wait for it, some again juz scared even to imagine it. Know why? How can i spend 2 weeks without doing nothing than to stay at home? My double job at Alto n Rembaka really makes me a working machine i guess. Just can't stand a day without works...!

I have many places in my mind to visit, but just dunno how and with who i can get there! I saw Ciputih beach and Kelud mountain from Dinny's multiply, and i wish i can see it too! Uhhh I wish I could find someone i know to accompany there! Soon I hope!

Wish the holidayz will be perfect!

Feel the day...

Feels like wanna to write something here... juz don't know what to write yet.... I feel great 2day. I juz now today is a nice day and everything will be just fine today. Maybe i'm such a thursday lover.... :)

This afternoon, when i went home from Rembaka, i've notice that the fuel pointer already on the red mark. pretty panic i guess, but not that panic. My mom ask me if i need her to drive me to Alto, and i said yes, infact, i'm the one who insist her to go with me... in case the car will run out of gas in the middle of somewhere. Lucky me... there's nothing bad happend. Everything just fine!

Then i arrived at the office and see my supervisor face, we just cleaning up our mess, our missunderstanding. Honestly, i really like our relationship. Not keeping bad things on the back, juz let it out, so there won't be any huge explossions which can destroy everything. Right Nuz?!!

The Quiet Night... I really enjoy it too. With Coolz as our DJ tonight, i like her arrangement for the MP3. Everything feels perfect tonight.... What a rare happy day i have! Hopefully tommorow will be a wonderful day too....!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Do I really want a war???

Tonight, once again i sit down and starring out my monitor, feeling sad and really tired.... Not becoz of the work... My work never makes me feel this way. I really loves my work, here or there. I enjoy it much than to sit and doing nothing.

More and more... i silently thinks that i'm really a trouble maker, juz like my father used to say when i was a little girl. Do I often seems wants a war on my neighbourhood, whereever and whenever i go?
I don't want to be such a emotional girl like this, but i hardly can't hold my feelings when i'm feeling sad or hate something. I juz need to say it, need to express it somehow.
I can't do it at the Rembaka. Maybe I juz need to be calm, quite, feminine, so i can be received there. Maybe I juz need to be a doll, acting like i am a really ordinary young girl. I really try to be my self there... but i dunno why, it is so hard to understand them nor to make them understand me.

I think this short poems descript my feeling lately..., I wrote it few weeks ago...

Gamang hati seorang pejuang
Harap usai tak kunjung datang
Senyum kekasih menghibur duka
Memberi embun di kekeringan jiwa

Xmas seem so far far away... i'm juz hoping that there will be much work for me so i don't have time to count the days, don't have time to mark my calender... juz wanna work and having fun until the Xmas comes this year!!!
Right now... the only thing that cheers me up is my gathering with the friends i have.... I'm so lucky to have you all, guys....!!!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Wonderful Night Save The Day

I don't wanna talk about today... not the day! I've already talk about it with Carla and Nyo! And it is really enough. The day is sucks... but the altoers successfuly saving my day!

I arrived at the office with a sour face. Tired bcoz the bad day, tired of driving through the traffic jam. Then something happened. Coolz and Yendy call me right after i've park the car and gave me a good news... they offer me to go to HM Sampoerna tomorrow! How fun:D! Hanging out with lovely friends, hearing the band, seeing the museum, and....the 48% Discount!

Then the night became more colourful with the friends i met at the Alto! They always successfull makes me smile again! Carla, Nyo, Veve, and Bo of course...!!! Plus my favorite food as the diner today... "Nasi Pecel Forever! :D"

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

C4MP1NG L461...!!!

Last year i've came
To see a beautiful place
Being an traveller
Walking through the woods
Feeling fresh and happy
Admiring the faboulous Island

Wonderful memories
Cannot be replace of anything
Now I've came again...
So different that i thought
But excited as well like yesterday
Having another great holidays

Happy to see a lot of things
Meeting new people there
Watching people how to fish
Feel the cool water on my skin
Swimming around on the green lake
See the big giant rocks

Learning how to make a camp fire
Hearing the nice melody form a guitar
Lying down on the sand
Watching the wonderful stars
Realized how tiny i am on the universe
Ohhhh.... what a wonderful night

If You Only Knew...
How i feel that night....
I love that wonderful days
A beautiful island...
You're always on my heart....