beatz d nadtz

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Passions of My Heart

Deep deep inside my heart
Waiting for someone
Searching for something
No one just can't answer
The questions on my heart....

Silence in the darkness of the night
Makes me think a lot
Love, Life, and the future
Having many dreams about it
Just need to wake up and fight for it

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

D R34L M3..

Ga tau kenapa... minggu ini aku jadi kumat lagi minderanne. Bingung rasane.. takut untuk ditolak, takut untuk gagal, takut sekali dengan apa yang akan terjadi..... Padahal semuanya belum tentu seburuk yang aku bayangkan.

Takut sekali mengecewakan orang lain, bingung harus berbuat apa. Semua kerjaanku beres emang, tapi sepertinya ada yang kurang.... kurang cepat kah? kurang teliti kah?

Bulan2 terakhirku di kantor....tiap hari kulewati dengan galau. Perasaan ingin secepatnya keluar dari situ... tapi apa daya, udah terlanjur janji. Masih kuharapkan kenangan2 indah tentang kantor itu akan terukir di ingatanku selamanya.... tapi lagi2 apa daya... aku udah berusaha... n still trying, but they just cannot see me as a real friend....

Kupikir, mungkin aku harus mengedarkan kuesioner... apa yang orang liat dariku? Apa yang membuat orang lain sulit menerima diriku? Mungkin itu akan membantu menjawab: Apa yang membuatku takut sekali untuk menunjukkan diriku yang sebenarnya? Bagaimana aku yang sebenarnya???

Satu2nya yang kuharapkan saat ini adalah waktu untuk refreshing, bener2 refreshing myself, Kuharap perjalanan ke Sempu Sabtu ini bisa bener2 menghiburku, membantuku menghadapi hari2 sendu di kantor... Menahan diri untuk engga menyemprot semua yang sinis padaku!

Fiuh... Lamanya waktu berjalan... kuharap aku bisa mendapatkan sesuatu dari penantian ini....

Thursday, September 16, 2004

My First Car Crash…:( !!!

Yesterday I was very tired. My eyes seems very hard to opened and my head feel very heavy. I just to sleepy at the office. I’ve even write my blog about Ijen at the work time just to move away the sleeppiness! The real me won’t do things like that!
Well well… maybe I’m a workaholic, but sometimes I need a break too right?!! Specially after the hard trip and the big fight with eren. Huhhh… I just wish that I just no need to go to the office that morning.

It surprising that my mom called me at the office that noon. She’s already home from Singapore! I’m glad, but I quite hoping that she will be there a little longer, so she can had much fun there. I went home that afternoon, still in the mood of laziness. I drove rather fast, hoping I can arrived at Alto as soon as possible. I’ve just miss all my friends there! I just wanna see there red faces, the effect of Ijen Crater :D

Well… the I was too careless, too hurry, and too stupid that I hit a black pick up when the car was stopped in front of me! Stupid girl ha!!! It supposed not hapend if I can be patient waiting it moved!!!

Uhhhh!!! So I take a u turn, stope on the left side of the street and looked my beautiful car…. Ohhh no!!!! Karimunku “RINGSEK”!!! Uhhhh I hate my seft for being impatient, careless n stupid!!! Poor car! I go back home with scramble heart. I was shocked, and a little scared that I may can hit another thing and crush my car again…. So I drove a little bit careful. So is my mom. She was real shocked, and often ask me “How come it hapend???” so, I’ve just runaway and drove the car to Alto!

Everybody wanna see the “Ringsek” thing. Everybody try to cheer me up, and Yunus… uhhhhh he just show me his bigest “cengiran” Uhhhhh!!!! Luckily, my dad is very understanding. He just smile at me n said that is was usually hapends when u r an amateur. So is my sister and brother in law. Hehehe… I really love their coolness! I ask eren how to fix the car, and if it expensive. And he just answered it calmly…. That it maybe easy, and the insurance will cover all the expenses. Fiuhhhh…. Lucky me….!!!

The Enneagram Test

Finnaly, i find out my type on the enneagram!!!

Type Six: The LoyalistThe Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious

Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious-running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The Great Ijen

What a wonderful place! Ijen is really a great place to rest and to find much of wonderful things to refreshing the spirit! The great views, fresh air, cool water and also the people we meet there…. Ohhh you just can’t find it here…!!! I really love my friends there….! I’m really waiting forward to come to another natural places like Ijen n Sempu!

Last Saturday, me and my other 6 office friends go to Bungurasih at 9am, first I feel a little dizzy by the voice of people there. They just offering to much bus n direction! Then I’ve notice that they just want to make people like me and the others confused so we hardly find the most easy way to go to our destination!

So, me and all my friends are going by the regular bus to Probolinggo ( Bo’s Hometown ) then we switch bus to Bondowoso. It is becoz no “bis PATAS” to Bondowoso. The bus was stopped many times and many people just going up and down. First I wasn’t disturbed, but there’s too many people going up just to sell their goods and it makes me bored and really tired of it.

We arrived at Bondowoso’s bus station about 2pm. Then we start to looking for colt who can drive us to Ijen. Luckily, it wasn’t too late for the last colt. There is a white minibus. It seems almost full, but we still can have a ride with it. Each of us pay Rp. 10.000,- one way. I still dunno is it cheap, or expensive, or just the standard, but I’m not thinking about it. I’m not regret it at all, at least not since I have seen and feel Ijen!!!

The crazy colt driver filled the minibus with 30 people, including the driver. Crazy haa! But maybe I can’t blame the driver, coz after the second thought, I thing maybe becoz it was the last colt that day, so he just must help the passanger by taking them to their destination, just like me and the others!

So, finnally, after a long long journey…. About 4.30pm, our, (at least mine) “be-teness” start to disapearing…. I feel the cool air, beautiful mountains, the trees, flowers, and the sunshines on the mountains…..! The beautiful colours of nature just makes me forget the tiredness n be-teness off my mine:D.

Then we just arrived at Ijen…!!! Da de rraaa! Yippeeee! Finnaly we can eat! There is a “warung”, they sells coffe, tea, and some food! For the whole three days, we just eat fried rice, fried mie or mie rebus, with a very salty eggs…!!! Hahaha… but they can really delicous when u’re in a middle of hungriness.

That night, I just can’t sleep. I dunno why, but really hard to fell asleep! It was cold, but I don’t think it can make me hard to sleep. Maybe the new environment, or maybe just afraid that I will disturbed my friends with my snorring if I fell asleep:(. Anyway, I dunno what time, but finnaly I can sleep. And I woke up with fresh eyes, fresh enough to jumping around, running to “warung” and get a glass of tea. Oh… What a nice spirit of great holidays!

Hemmmm! Really enjoy it! That Sunday will be one of great stories of my life! I have an hour nice walking with Carla. With some cool stories of her, hearing the birds sing, the sounds of moving fog, the water flows, looking at the teardrops.
When we get back to the hotel, the others already grumbleing I think…. Hehehe…. They waited us for a long time just to go up to the “Ijen Crater.”

It written 3km to “Ijen Crater”, but it feels like we were walk through 20 km! Haha! We’re not climbing, but the path to go there is full with small stones and hills, which makes us easily slipped and tired. But that’s all worth it! Through all of it, finnaly we know that it really worth! We took a lot of pictures. So, this haliday really is on a one package! Beautiful mountains, great crater, lovely green lake, and wonderful memories.

We even had a chance to see a mini waterfall near the hotel. It is about 10 minutes from the camp. I love hiking through the rocks! i wish the water is pure water, not the sulphur water, so i can touch it, but what the hell, it really beautiful too! No one can deny it!

There some accidents too, but nothing can makes me regret it! I just love my holidays! I even thought that this is the most wonderful holidays that i had since Sempu Island!

I feel really lucky to have the day and to having friends to share the experience!

Thursday, September 09, 2004


1 and a half days left till my journey to IjeN

hop hop hop...
wanna jump
wanna smile
wanna scream all day....

Coolzy, Carla, Yendy
and the others still mystery
the bus, the road and the views
just can't wait till see it all

just hoping the day will come soon....!!!

hihihi... bener2 ga sabar pingin pigi yahhhh.
skg harusnya mama juga lagi menikmati liburannya ... semoga gitu deh! she's need it! she's really need it! hopes she's enjoy it as enjoyable as she can... hahahaha!
moga2 aja waktunya engga dihabisin buat ngurusin pestanya lucky!!!! kalo sampe gitu kejadiannya, wah wah... asli deh... i bisa2 perang dingin beneran ama keluarga itu!!! masak wes tau mama jarang berlibur di kasih pe-er macem2 sih??? yang bener aja kannn!!!

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Far...far away...Sempu....

Huhhhh the day is really sucks... i hate my work today, i hate my drive today, i hate my lunch today, i just hate everything about today!!!
I woke up in the morning with a smiley face, i already imagine my weekend at Sempu Island! I just wanna see Ci Sin as soon as possible and tell her to give me a day off on Saturday Sept 4th. Well i have no thoughts that it will be so difficult....! I still have two days off right? So it wont be any matter if i just wanna take one of them to please me on the weekend! But she told me that i can't take the day off suddenly like this! she told me to ask it about a month before it! huhhhhH!!!! A month??? Huhhhhh! I feels like wanna scream, wanna cry... wanna puch everything!

So... I just call Nyo that i could go... huhhhh!!! Bye bye Sempu Island... why u seems so far far away from Surabaya???? Well, one more time... i can't go anywhere during the weekend! Maybe i will spent it by watching VCD's again... ohhhh so sad sad.... sadday....
I just can't wait till December....!!! hope the time will go by.... sooner that i thoughts....!